As a recording artist I express my hard times as well as good times in my songs. That’s my outlet and I thank God for the ability to do that. Also there has always been outside substances accessible for use when going through hard times like drugs and my old demon alcohol. Alcohol was my dark passenger when I was celebrating achievements, but in the hard times I used it to drown out the pain. I never thought that I used to be an unhappy person or deal with depression, but while listening to some of my material from 2009-2010 in my heavy abuse time I realized that I spoke about that a lot in my lyrics. I rapped about stress and hard times and the gallons of vodka and Hennesey that I consumed to alleviate those feelings. At the time I never saw anything wrong with that, I just figured that was the “rapper” thing to do. But in hindsight I realize that those were cries for help and expressing my demons through my music.
We all have problems and stress and drama does not only choose certain people. The thing is when we feel it does alcohol make it any better? Sure I used to feel better in the moment while I was drunk but did it make those problems go away? No, as a matter of fact the problems got worst in the long run. Liquor dulled the sharpness I needed to deal with difficult situations. Liquor also made finances even harder. At the time I was a drug dealer so I made a lot of money, but we all know when you have a few drinks in you we can become way more generous. Next thing you know we’re buying drinks for people we barely even know. Also in my case I know that I screwed up a lot of re up counts for my suppliers at the time from doing my hustling accounting while drunk. So rather than my problems going away through the bottle, things actually got worst. Not to mention the way I felt the next morning from hangovers or regrets from not knowing exactly what happened the night before, or even not knowing where the hell I was or who the hell is this nasty chick next to me.
I’m not going to get all preachy and suggest people not to drink just because I don’t anymore. But just realize that when your getting smashed because times get rough that it’s only temporary euphoria. Those problems will still be there after the party is over but we need enjoyment to contras those hard times. With that being known I suggest that you go out there and enjoy yourself but set limits so that good time doesn’t make those hard times turn harder.