Friday, 3 June 2011

The Sober Emcee part. 6 Hitting Rock Bottom(The Power of God and AA)

     I've had a pretty long drinking career. I can say I started drinking when I was about 16 maybe 15. Back then I used to drink beer with my friends in Montreal and it wasn't an everyday thing. We used to snatch and grab 24s from the corner stores then go in the park and get plastered and it didn't take much in those times. That was around the same time that I started going to clubs. I used to use older friends IDs so I could get in and when I did I would only have a few drinks because frankly I was pretty broke. Around that time was the first time I ever drank a 40 oz of malt liquor. I was in Brooklyn at the time on the stoop with a couple of friends from my grand mothers block. I remember drinking one and feeling nice so, always being the over-doer I decided to buy another one, I think they were only $1.50. After the second one I went back to my grand ma's stoop and sat down alone. In about five minutes I felt it all coming back up and then I threw up all over the railing of her stoop, then I crawled up her long stairs to her apartment with my brain spinning.
     As time went on my tolerance went up and I started smoking weed at 16. At 17 I started selling drugs and I used to sell crack out of an apartment in Montreal. I used to smoke weed and drink a few beers every night but it still wasn't bad yet. I use to go to the club and see my bosses buying out the bar, I thought they were the coolest mofos in the world.
     Things started changing after I quit working for them. I opened a weed base with a friend of mine(who will remain nameless) at 19years old and I was making a shit load of money. I used to drink Red Bull beers in the tall cans and I would slam down about 6 of them a day sitting in the base. My partner in crime used to complain that I drank to much even back then. I thought that I was the envy of my friends with my higher tolerance level. We used to sit around and have freestyle sessions for hours smoking and drinking like crazy. I also used to hide beer cans in my room when I was at home so that my mother wouldn't see me drinking. I guess now in hindsight I was starting to become a real alcoholic because of the fact that I started hiding it.
     When I finally moved to Toronto at 22 things started getting worst. I would continue drinking Red Bull(beer) and started gaining a tolerance for hard liquor, that was the year I had my first black out at a party. When I moved in with a couple friends in an area called Bleaker I drank beer all day and switched to hard liquor all night when I used to go to the all night house music jams. As time went on I started developing a taste for cognac and Gran Marnie and I had a customer that would bring me bottles of Don Perignon for only $60 a bottle. I thought I was the coolest shit drinking Don in my apartment from the bottle with no special occasion.
      Fast forward and things started getting really bad around 2006, I was on to vodka by now and it was a nightly thing. I was managing a group named Empire and we partied a lot, the problem was when the party was over I would still be drinking alone. I was already frequent in the after hours scene and my tolerance level was through the roof.
     I met my fiance in 2007 and she didn't realize how bad my drinking problem was until 2008. I had caught 2 impaired driving charges within a year. I lost my driver's license and I started having a secret depression. My girl suggested  that I start going to AA and I did, but I wasn't going for me at the time , I went to please her. I was still selling drugs, so while I shared in the meetings my phone would be buzzing in my pocket with customers with addiction problems similar to the ones in the meeting. I felt like the biggest hypocrite and after a month of sobriety I started again and I went hard.
     If you have been following my past blogs then you know about why I got incarcerated. That was the end for me and I started doing a lot of changing. I prayed more and I started going to AA again from inside. On February 16th I received my 1 year sobriety medallion and now I have almost 16 months under my belt.
     Jail was truly rock bottom for me and all I want to do is go up right now and as long as I stay sober I will. I attend AA meeting almost daily and I love it and I do it for me. Drinking is fun but it's not for everyone especially me. Don't get me wrong, PLEASE have fun . But if I'm at the party with ya'll just pass me a water or a soda and I'll be just as fun at the party with you.

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