Thursday, 26 May 2011

Part 5 "Sleeping With the Demons"

     Back in my drinking days I used to have a hard time sleeping. I actually never just went to sleep, I used to pass out after 2 mickeys of Vodka after recording in my home studio or sitting up on my computer. When I got really restless I would hit one of the downtown after hours and stay out till 7am drinking. I think those were really dark times and I had a lot of things weighing on my conscious making it hard to just lie down and sleep sober. In those times I was hustling so I would stay up waiting for calls or I would be up planning or doing slutty actions behind my girlfriend's back. I hustled for 17 years and did a lot of cheating over the years so I was constantly collecting demons. For me it was hard to sleep with all those things pressing down on my mind and alcohol used to numb them until I finally passed out in my computer chair.
     Now a days I sleep shortly after my head hits the pillow without a drink. I realized that it was because the demons where gone. I stopped hustling and cheating for good and the stress of those things are gone. I started re- focusing my energy into more positive things and set my priorities towards growing up and not trying to be the coolest or being some kind of player. It's been parole appointed that I can't go to any clubs or bars and I'm okay with that because I'm not in the pursuit of the attention that I was looking for in those places. I got everything I need at home; a clean place, good friends and a great fiance. I also don't have to hide what I do from my moms and I can finally make her proud of me. Along with that I no longer have anything to hide from my fiance so I don't have to worry about side chicks calling me at the wrong time or leaving messages on my many web pages.
     Honesty feels good and I feel I no longer sleep with the demons, so I no longer need a drink(Or many) to get tired. Thank God.
Good Night


No comments:

Post a Comment